Every day is a mystery, things change before we can prepare ourselves. Every minute of everyday something could happen that can change your life forever. And then it does. These are the standout days, the days that redefine your world forever.
The best days of my life were the day my babies were born. The day Noah was born was the most terrifying thing I had ever been through. Things were going wrong when I walked into the maternity ward and I had no idea. I feel like there was this bit of me that was carefree and excited that I lost forever when things went wrong. The moment they laid him on me, though, and I knew he was healthy my heart exploded with joy and love. Thirteen months later I stared into the most beautiful brown eyes i'd ever seen. And the day I finally adopt Emily will be the next best day in my life.
There are two great days in a person's life - the day we are born and the day we discover why. -William Barclay
The day Christian died was the most horrifying, heartbreaking, day of my life. Shocking, terrible pain. Without a doubt, nothing touches that day. My heart got sledgehammered, it was like being turned inside out and having my heart ripped from my body when I saw my sister getting out of that van. Everything is different now. Every moment of my life has changed since that day. There is joy, and grief, and pain, and love and anger and frustration and questions in every move I make.
― Diana Gabaldon
I asked others to share the best and worst days of their lives. I appreciate everyone's contributions, thank you for opening yourselves up to me again. You ladies are invaluable to me.
-Best days, kiddos mastering the escape hatch and being healthy; Martina's heart being fixed and declared healthy. Worst Day: That I can remember (that's another story) finding out my husband of 10 years had two affairs within two years that I knew nothing about. That day sucked, so did the following months.
-Worst: Night I was raped. Best: Wedding day
-Worst- losing my daughter. Best- meeting my husband.
-Worst: the day my sons were put into foster care. Best: tie for the day they came home and the day I found out Sammi was on the way.
-Worst day: Charley's birth. Best day: Zak's birth. Predictable but true.
-Best-Jer and Harry arriving earthside. Worst- losing Molly Jane.
- Losing my Dad was up there on the worst scale, as was subsequently losing my entire family (not the way you think) about 6 weeks later.
-Worst - the day my dad died. Best - (I have more than one...LOL) the day my son was born and the day I graduated from college.
-Worst day: The only one that really stands out is the day when I was 13, home alone on a snow day, and I got a call from my grandfather's hysterical housekeeper saying something like "I just found your dead grandfather". This was about 3 weeks after my grandmother, his wife, had died. I missed so much school that year because my family had to help clean out my grandparents' house (my grandparents smoked inside, so cleaning was quite a task), on top of all the funeral and will arrangements. That also caused a rift between my dad and his brother, and they didn't speak for probably eight years, which made it awkward for me with my cousins.
Another awful day was at the very end of my pregnancy, I was about 5 days past my due date, and I found out that my friend's 14-year-old brother had jumped off a bridge in my hometown. I didn't know him well, but the couple times I met him, I just thought he was such a sweet kid. Anyway, when he died, besides all the normal reasons that that would be upsetting (someone I know dying, suicide in my hometown, my friend losing her little brother), it just made me feel so helpless. During my pregnancy I'd been so concerned about losing the baby, even never having had a miscarriage before, and I was worried that even once the baby was born, there was the possibility of SIDS or any number of things babies are vulnerable to, and then I was reminded that a child can make it past infancy and still be so fragile. As miserable as I was being past my due date, I just wanted to keep my son in there forever so I could protect him. It was so unsettling.
Best day: Is it bad that I don't really know of any? I was obviously happy the day my son was born, but I was SO tired, and so overwhelmed, even scared, so I didn't spend a lot of time glowing or whatever.
- First time I went to NYC, when I was 17. I felt so at home there, even though we only stayed for two days. It made me feel okay to be American, for once. It was so alive, and the people were wonderful, contrary to the stereotypes. Everything about it was different from small-town Maine, and I LOVED it.
- Meeting my German "brother".
- The first day of my own exchange. I stepped off the plane into a new country, and the air and the language just wrapped around me and felt so right. I felt hopeful.
- The day my Norwegian friend (whom I met on exchange) first came to visit me in the US. I realized then that, as fucking annoying as the Atlantic Ocean is, it would NOT get in the way of my friendships.
^I never realized til now how many of my best moments have to do with the concept of "away"-- foreign people visiting me, me going elsewhere. That's kind of weird.
-Best: Births of my 2 boys. (Or extractions, if you prefer). Worst: Sept 18, 2009. I was coming back from traveling for work. Flight delays and some really harsh stuff that happened earlier in the day, so I grabbed a hotel room (home is 100 miles from the airport). Just after midnight, got a call from my father in law. My husband, who is an alcoholic, has been arrested. He was in a phone conversation with my best friend, and decided she was suicidal (she wasn't). He got himself and our 6-month old into the car, but couldn't get our 3-year old to wake up, so left him at home sleeping. Drove over to my friend's house, and when she wouldn't answer the door, called the police to come check on her. He blew a 0.24% BAC. With our baby in the back seat of the car. Was charged with aggravated DWI (felony) and child abuse (also a felony). I drove home straight away to look after the kids. Slept a couple hours, then woke up to the phone ringing. Child Protective Services, not only is HE in trouble but I had to go to their office to explain why *I* should even be allowed to keep my own kids. Because obviously if I was stupid enough to leave him in charge, I must not be a very fit parent either.
On a positive note, that was his last drink. He has been sober for almost 2.5 years.
-Best: the birth of my son. Worst: probably the day my husband (then my boyfriend) and I broke up. It was only for a few days but everyone knew in college and it sucked. Thanks to couples therapy, though, we did (obviously) get back together.
-Worst day: Dad dying. The six year anniversary is tomorrow actually. Best day: My first Mother's Day. My son was one month old exactly. My meds had kicked in, I was pain free from my section, baby was thriving on formula, husband and I were finally enjoying parenthood, and we went to one of our favorite places Greenfield Village (like a 19th c Williamsburg) for a beautiful afternoon. It was our first big family outing.
-Best day was when Caleb got to see Noah on the u/s, followed by when Noah was born, followed by the day we got to take Noah home. Worst day was the day that we took Noah off life support. Or rather, the first 10 days of his life, which truly felt like years.
-This is really predictable but here it goes anyway. Best day- birth of my middle daughter. She was the only one where the midwife immediately put her on my chest after I pushed her out and the feeling of holding her was the most amazing feeling I have ever had. My first daughter had meconium and I didn't get to see her until a lot later(she was having problems regulating her temp) and my third was a Csection and I only got to peek at her before she was gone and then didn't see her for several hours later too. ( now neither of these situations affected the long-term bonding and I LOVE all of my girls equally but I have to admit that getting to hold your baby right away is an amazing experience but I still think NCBers make too big of a deal about this. If your baby is fine, then this is what should happen but if there are problems and you can't hold them right away, then that is fine too. With my 1st and 3rd my first experience had to be delayed for several hours and it wasn't quite the high that the 2nd one was, but by day 2 at the hospital it all evened out. Does this make sense to everyone? )
My worst moment- when my oldest was 2 1/2 , she caught a really bad flu from my husband and I , had a febrile convulsion, stopped breathing , turned blue and was just laying on the ground blue and still for several minutes. Both my husband and I thought she was dead and we were in such shock that we couldn't start CPR. I can't describe the feeling of agony that ripped through me or how it felt like everything inside me was dying. While my husband was on the phone with 911 , I called my mom and screamed that kaylie was dead and for her to come over. I remember hearing the sirens and knowing they were coming for us and went outside to let them know which house. When I came back in with the police officer, kaylie finally took a breath and turned white. I kind of felt that I was reborn at that moment. She went to the hospital but there wasn't anything they could do except tell us it was caused by a sudden spike in temperature and they sent us home with instructions to alternate motrin and Tylenol around the clock. We sat and watched her breath for at least a week 24 -7. I felt like that I opened a door into this place of agony, peaked in but then for some reason, was allowed to come back out and shut it.
-Best: birth of my babies (a tie for each 3 years apart)
Worst: the day I found out my husband had been carrying on an affair with my friend who lived next door. I moved out, 2 weeks later she moved in. Really more of the worst year than just a day- 2001 sucked. No worries though, found me an awesome man who I married and gave me my 2 cuties!
-Best-the day I saw Emily's heartbeat on the first ultrasound. After everything I'd been through to get pregnant that feeling was just indescribable.
Worst-getting a phone call to say my Nanna had died. Not only because she was pretty much my hero, but I was 16, and it was my first first-hand experience with death, and it was a shock, and I felt so guilty I was at my boyfriend at the time's place, who she didn't like.
-Best day of my life - wedding day, hands down. I've never been surrounded by so much joy and love. Births of my sons were wonderful moments, but not days. I honestly can't think of an obvious worst. I've had bad stuff happen, but nothing that continues to twist my guts to this day. I guess I'm either blessed or extremely good at emotional repression.
- The best day of my life was the day I fell in love with my body. My body is the only thing I have. It powers my mind, it runs my life, it is everything. I spent years believing it was just a thing that I used, but I didn't value it. Valuing it was vain and dirty and wrong. But when I looked at myself and saw that I wanted me. That I was worth wanting. I buzzed in the revelry of being alive. And from that moment, though there are times when my body fails me, I want it and I value it and I expect others to do the same. And that gives me a power that was kept from me by people who tell lies.
The worst day of my life wasn't the day my father was diagnosed with cancer. It wasn't the day he died. It wasn't his funeral. It wasn't the first of every holiday or life event or whatever without him. It was the day I discovered that I was friends with my mother and that I would never be friends with my father.