I celebrated my thirtieth birthday Saturday. My best friend Bambi, my awesome friend Sara, my mom, aunt, and brother all came with me to watch me get my first tattoo. Then I spend the rest of the day (and night!) with my beautiful friends.
I spent a long time deciding on what tattoo I wanted. And i'm really, really happy with the way it turned out.
I had "Remember to Live" tattooed on my forearm. I wrote this post on 11-6-11. Those words have stuck with me since that night, the words from Christian have echoed in my head.
"It was bright, and cool breeze blew through my hair. I was bent over a small tree I had just planted, filling in the hole with dirt. I sifted the earth through my fingers, felt it in my hands. I sensed someone, and I squinted into the sun and saw him standing beside me. I felt him lean down next to me, and then he was still...in my dreams he is always very still. I looked at him, he smiled and said, "remember to live." It became an echo, a chime, a song. Over and over, as we knelt in the dirt, as I pressed my hands down, finished patting the dirt around the tree, I heard his voice say to me, "remember to live."
Remember to live."
I had 4 stars put around the words.
The largest, for Christian. For loving my sister, for changing our lives. For giving me words to live by. I had it colored green, because he loved the land, his farm.
The blue star is for my Grandpa Dilas, for his bright blue eyes.
The yellow star is for my Grandma Virginia. She would get a bouquet of flowers from my Grandpa Mario with one yellow rose right in the middle.
The red star is for my Grandpa Mario. He loved red. And red is a strong fiery color, it reminds me of him.
The entire time I was being tattooed I had a lump in my throat. It has so much meaning. I have a little bit of the people I miss the most, who i'll miss the rest of my days, with me.
And when i'm having a bad day or I feel like giving up, i'll look down and see Remember to Live and my little shining stars and find my strength.