* Why am I so bad at brewing coffee? I do the same thing everyone else does, but mine ends up tasting like yak slobber. I have coffee making issues...
* You know what's fun? Judging the other women at the market by what food is in their carts. You know what I'm talking about. You walk by, look at their food selections, and you think to yourself, I am clearly a superior mother, look at all the shitty food she has in her cart...
* Everyone has dreams and goals. Mine is to have bathroom towels that match. ....someday...
* Can someone please explain to me the commercial about "getting real about toilet paper" and the endless list of complaints about the effectiveness...or should I say ineffectiveness when wiping. You can see the ridiculousness here. I was unaware there was some kind of dirty butt epidemic sweeping the nation. I should watch the news more.
* I'm going to start a tally of the most commonly used phrases in the Roth house. I wonder which will be number one?
-Get off your sister!
-Get off that toy!
-Get that toy off your sister!
-Quit banging the glass on Mommy's end table!
-No, you don't need a snack!
-Quit touching the TV!
-That's not yours, don't touch it!
-Awww, what the hell is that?!
-Quit taking your poopy diapers off!
-Quit poking your sister in the eye!
-Did one of you poop?
-Mommy is slowly losing her mind!
I need a nap...