I've said a lot of bad words the last few days...
Like "dammit!"

"What the hell?"

and "Oh for shits sake!"

For the sake of shit go I.

Noah punched me today. We were laying in my bed this morning watching cartoons.  He gets close to my face, smiles, and just pops me right in the kisser. After I quelled the instinct to give him a right hook in response, I grabbed my mouth and yelled "what the shit?!"  He thought that was hilarious...

Ellie bitch slapped me today.  Snuggled into the chair, my girl and I.  She, sucking her thumb, I browsing through the psychotic posts on Babycenter.  All of a sudden, she rears back and smacks me, right across the face.  I, of course, look at her and say, "what the hell was that for?"

She says nothing.  Just eyeballs me for a moment, and goes back to her thumb.

My children are keeping their pimp hands strong.

My children are all fake tattooed up.  I have a mini motorcycle gang roaming the house. 

My 19 month old daughter bent over yesterday in the driveway, grabbed her tiny ass, and said "da butt."

I, on top of my lengthy vocabulary of bad words, also have a cache of almost bad words.



"friggity frig"


I, apparently say "sha-poopy" a lot.  My daughter, niece, and the girls I watch sing it, "Sha-poopy SHA-pooopy poopy poopy poopyyyyyy"

Now Lindsay, you say, that is no way to raise your children.  One must watch their language, and model perfection in all things, at all times. Children learn from us.  

Yeah, no shit!



  1. LMAO!! I love it! My 3 year old daughter looked at me yesterday and said "that friggin dog!"... Oops!! lol... my sister told me she'd start repeating me... better than what it could be, I guess!! Great post!!

  2. This is great! I have a 1-year-old little boy who is at the stage of repeating our vocabulary. A few months ago he was running around with his little push toy and ran into the door frame. He backed it up said, "Shit." and then continued on his way.

  3. Even though each of my three kids had speech delays, all three were able to say a few choice words, and always at the best times, at grandmas, at pre-school, while were having dinner with in-laws. I have always been so proud!!! Great post!!!

  4. I'm probably guilty of teaching my kids words they shouldn't know. I choose instead to blame it on the songs they listen to in the car with me on the way to school.

    Yep, it's my CD's and not my own potty mouth. I'm sure of it.


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