p. 24: This less flourishing sphere [the household] is not the natural or moral responsibility only of women. Therefore, assigning it to women is unjust. Women assigning it to themselves is equally unjust.
No kidding. Especially when it wasn't your decision, but the decision of millions of selfish asshat SAHMs who don't want to have a job.
Reads lovely, doesn't it? We're not supposed to be offended? We've become selfish because we want to keep our homes and raise our own children. How backwards of us.
Being a stay at home mom is not something that garners a lot of respect or tolerance, except among other SAHM's. That's why blogging, and connecting with other like minded people, has been great for me. It's nice to hear someone else say, yeah you made the right choice. Isn't that what is it, in the end. A choice? I chose to quit cutting hair to stay home, I choose to go without luxuries, etc. I read an article proclaiming that women should NOT stay home with their children or be homemakers because if they would ever need to reenter the workforce, they could have a difficult time finding a good job. I don't know about other SAHM's, but I'm not worried about the ifs or whens just the nows. NOW is where I am, NOW is when my children need me, NOW is when I have this time to make these memories, NOW is all we have. As they say, tomorrow isn't promised.
So, are we (myself and my fellow SAHM's) supposed to keep our mouths shut about what we believe because someones feelings might get hurt? Why are our opinions not OK? Why can't I say to someone, have you ever thought about becoming a SAHM, without them being offended? Do you know how often I'm asked when I'm planning on going back to work? Should I be offended by that question?
They say "Home is where your heart is." My children and my husband are my heart, that is why I'm home.
The above statement should offend a few people.
So I ask:
How many women out there have chosen being a SAHM as their career? How many are proud, like me, to be one to raise your children? (another offending sentence.) How many of you has chosen it, like I have, because I can't imagine not being home with them everyday? Am I the only one who feels like I'm being pushed into a corner and having fingers pointed at me by being a SAHM?
I think it is sad that we still have to have this debate! We as women can be so hard on each other. I have been a SAHM since the birth of my first child 12 years ago and I have never regreted the choice. I can understand why women who choose to work or women who have no choice and must work would be sensitive to the idea that SAHM's are doing a better job. I can't judge another familes choice or need. I think the more we accept our choices for our familes the more we will find acceptance for those whose lives are diffrent. Wouldn't that make it a nicer place for us all to live! Just my two cents! Thanks for making me think!
ReplyDeleteI like what Kathy said, "I can't judge another familes choice or need. I think the more we accept our choices for our familes the more we will find acceptance for those whose lives are diffrent."
ReplyDeleteI am blessed enough to be able to work from home but even if I didn't have the opportunity, I would still be staying at home. WE've built our lives around the premise that I am going to be home for our kids. It's a choice we feel is important and it's one that works for us.
We've had to make numerous sacrifices and will continue to make them in order to live in the lifestyle to which we've become accustomed. Could we have a better car or a bigger house if I went to work? Well - maybe that would have been true 3 kids ago - now I'd be just paying to go to work! LOL
Wow. I just wrote a post about this last night but hadn't finished it yet. I am a sahm and I'm so thankful for that. I understand some women want to work, or have to work..ALthough I don't think anyone HAS to work. We live in a 3 bedroom house, nothing fancy. We don't have the newest cars out there either, and we do this so I can stay at home. The idea of a 6 week old baby at daycare does sadden me. I personally just think it's too young. And missing all of my children's firsts? I couldn't do it. I'm happy to say I have seen every first of both of my girls.
ReplyDeletebtw, thanks for following my blog. Now following yours. :)
I am a SAHM. Largely in part because my husband's job required us to relocate to a small town with a non-existent job market for me. I love every minute of being a SAHM, especially now that I am blogging. I have found so many great blogging friends. I remember the day I told my boss I was quitting - she asked me what I was going to do (in the small town) and my response was "I'm going to be a SAHM" She then said, "Well that sounds like a good plan" with great sarcasm. I bit my tongue, but wish I would have said something. Instead I just walked out of her office.
ReplyDeleteI can identify with what you are saying about how people feel with SAHM. My cousin writes a blog and abhors the idea of women staying home. Part of me feels I need to follow her blog b/c she is my cousin, and part of me wants to drop it. Needless to say, since the blog often is about the topic, I don't read it often.
ReplyDeleteI LOVE being a SAHM, but never pictured myself doing it. I went back to work briefly after our daughter was born and just felt like I was supposed to be home.
Found you at the SAHM area on Bloggy Moms. Following you now - If you get a chance, stop by my site sometime http://theresjustonemommy.com
Wonderful article... I think you are so right "SAHM" has become a dirty word. I am sad to say I have lost friends because of our choice to raise our children at home instead of in Daycare and Public School system. I am their mother and it was probably the toughest job I have ever had but it is the most rewarding... No I don't get a paycheck, I get the biggest bear hugs from my 5 year old and the most wonderful kisses from my 8 year old... Besides I get to listen to their playtime with the most vivid imaginations.
ReplyDeleteI have a Masters Degree in Science and I CHOOSE to stay at home with my boys and I love it. I'm not a backward idiot, I'm a smart, educated women who loves my children and wants to be near them (not to say that working moms don't love their kids) it's just what works for me and I would not change a thing.
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